Pregnancy Journey

After a bumpy start to my pregnancy with Killian (ER visits before we even had my first OB visit), we were slow to announce the news.  It wasn't until we were in our second trimester that we started to share the pregnancy.  The girls were thrilled and immediately decided we needed a baby boy.  I had already been told baby was probably a boy but I didn't share that with the girls in case they were wrong.  Thankfully, God granted that wish for the big sisters!

Once in the second trimester, the pregnancy progressed just like a "normal" pregnancy.  While I was thankful, it was hard for me to fully relax and enjoy the pregnancy after losing Kendrick.  I declined the offer to visit a perinatoligist but did decide I wanted to do the ante-natal testing during the third trimester.  That meant that I would go twice a week starting at 34 weeks and get non-stress tests done (listen to baby and monitor contractions for 20 minutes) and once a week to get a bio-physical profile done (measure baby, fluid...to make sure all was good).

At 33 weeks (March 29th), I ended up in the hospital for observation because I was in so much pain and having contractions that I just couldn't get to stop.  They kept me for a while and, because of my history, were very thorough.  I had blood work done, was on the monitors, and have a very detailed ultrasound.  Everything came up perfectly - except the ultrasound showed Killian to be breech.  I wasn't worried.  Kayden was breech at about the same time and she turned.  I left the hospital with a very cute ultrasound picture of Killian and didn't worry about it.

At 34 weeks, I went in for my weekly visit and was told I would have to schedule a c-section at the 36 week appointment if baby was still breech.  I said okay and then left.  Only to fully panic when I got home.  I sent Jeanean (my midwife) a message to see what all we could do to possibly get him to turn and set about researching online.  She called me and we discussed a version done at 37 weeks.  I decided that it wasn't worth the risk to me.  If he went into distress, it would be an emergency c-section right then and I didn't want to be asleep for his birth or have him born 3 weeks early.  I started going to the physical therapy to get myself all aligned, visited the chiropractor to have the webster technique performed, and spent tons of time upside down (which Kayden kept telling me was dangerous).

On April 11, I was really uncomfortable and thought he may have turned.  I had an ultrasound on the 22nd which confirmed that he was, indeed, head down.  I left thrilled and relaxed over the weekend.  I was now 37 weeks and he was in the right position.  Surely he would stay that way.  On the 25th, I was really uncomfortable.  The girls were out of school so I thought maybe it was because I had a more active day than normal.  On Tuesday the 26th, I went to my ob appointment and Jeanean told me that he was no longer head down.  Unfortunately, at this point I was too far along for a version so we had to go immediately to an ultrasound to confirm breech and then schedule my c-section.  I was devastated.  I went to physical therapy, my chiropractor, and spent a great deal of time upside down.  On Thursday, I went to get acupuncture done and Kelly burned a moxa stick at my pinky toes to encourage Killian to turn.  I took an ambien (I was hurting a lot) and went to bed early.  The next morning I headed to the my weekly ultrasound and was told he was head down!  Hooray!!!  Surely at this point he would stay that way.  I was a day away from 38 weeks.  Certainly he was getting too big to turn again.

Sunday night, I woke up with really bad contractions around midnight.  Nothing I could do would make me comfortable. As the minutes turned to hours, I decided that he was no longer head down.  While I didn't think I was anywhere near active labor, I had been having contractions for 4 hours and was nervous that he was footling breech again.  At 4:30 I called Jeanean and talked through the situation.  She said since my water hadn't broken, I could stay home and see what happened.  She said to try to go to sleep and that when Kelly left for work if I still was having contractions to head to the hospital.  I got in bed and hoped sleep would come.  Kelly woke and left for work and I was sound asleep.  When Keeley came in to tell me it was wake-up time, I was very, very frustrated because that meant that all that pain was probably him turning again.

I went to see Jeanean that morning and we confirmed that he had, indeed, flipped to breech again.  Of course he had to keep going to footling breech - the scariest one because you risk cord prolapse.  I left the appointment and cried.  I was 38 weeks 2 days.  I had a c-section scheduled that now seemed inevitable.  I still tried to do all my upside down, physical therapy, and chiropractor stuff but really held out no hope that he would turn.  On Friday at my weekly ultrasound, Sheryl told me that he was head down again!!  Talk about an emotional roller coaster.

Friday I was 38 weeks and 6 days.  They would not induce until 39 weeks.  Jeanean called me that evening and offered to induce me on Saturday.  I declined because the surgeon on call that weekend was the same one that had told me Kendrick died.  I didn't think I would end up in a c-section but I certainly didn't want to do it was a surgeon I didn't have positive feelings about.

Sunday, I ended up in the hospital and an ultrasound revealed that he was head down but during face up and moving up the side toward breech.  He also was losing fluid.  Not so much that he was in danger, but enough to show that labor was approaching.  I was so afraid that he would get himself turned and then not have enough fluid left to turn back.  They sent me home from the hospital that night (so I could get a good nights rest) in an abdominal binder and told me to come back in the morning to induce.  I went home and went on a walk and rolled on my exercise ball to enourage him to get into better position.

When I checked in the next morning, the first thing the did was confirm he was head down because they can't induce a breech baby.  The ultrasound showed he was head down - but face up.  The nurses assured me there were things to do during labor to encourage him to flip over.  I was in labor all day. At one point, my contractions stalled out so Jeanean came and broke my water.  The girls came and visited a couple of times and that was a nice distraction.  About 4 they came to visit and I was starting to hurt but was able to get distracted.  Once they left, I told the nurse I was ready for my epidural.  I had held out because I wanted to do everything I could to get him in a good position - I walked, squatted, rolled on the ball, stood up....anything other than just laying in the bed.

Unfortunately, I have bad reactions to epidurals and the mess up my blood pressure.  I told the nurse that so she said they needed to get a lot of fluids in me first.  The time it took to go through those two bags of fluids was forever.  I was in so much pain.  I don't think I opened my eyes at all.  Jeanean came in and said she thought I was close and offered to check me but I said no, I wanted my epidural first because it was going to hurt more to be checked.  When the anesthesiologist came in to do the epidural, I was honestly in so much pain that it didn't freak me out at all like it usually does.  It took all I had to be still through the contractions.  I had no blood pressure problems this time, but the epidural also didn't work very well.  My legs never got numb and I had several more minutes of horrible contractions before my abdomen was numb.  Once that was numb, Jeanean checked me and said I was a 9, completely effaced, and baby was at a +1 station.  Bascially, he was ready to come out.  They got set up and two pushes later, we welcomed baby Killian into the world.  Words cannot describe the joy I felt seeing that sweet little face and hearing him cry.  Everyone kept talking about how joyful I was.  Jeanean even asked the next day if I was like that with the girls.  She said people are usually happy but that I just seemed so joyful like I had opened the best present.  In a way, I had.