I feel like parenting is a constant battle of two steps forward and one step back. Once you come to terms with that reality, life is a little more manageable. I've been working on getting that through my head. So far it seems to be helping when I get frustrated with sleep, eating, crying....
This week however, I'm getting an entirely new taste of the give and take of parenting. Having two babies so close together is bittersweet. I get to see new milestones in both the kiddos with excitement and a touch of sadness with each step toward growing up. We've had a big week this week with both kiddos:
Kayden has started sitting up on her own and is really getting into peek-a-boo. She has been able to maintain a sitting position for a while now but last night she actually got herself into that position. She still is forever trying to play with Keeley and be where ever she is. Whatever Keeley does is funny - even if the exact same thing done by Kelly or me would make her cry. I'm watching her grow up so very, very fast. In no time at all I feel like she will too big to consider my baby. At lunch today I let her sit in her high chair and put some milk in a straw cup for her to try to drink. She was so excited and kept looking from her cup to Keeley's cup and noticing they were the same. Not entirely successful in drinking from the cup, I had to switch to a bottle for her but I was impressed to say the least.
Keeley, on the other hand is quite the dichotomy. I knew that toddlers vascillated greatly between baby and independent little person. What I was not prepared for was the way it would make me feel. She is getting much better about playing by herself (although she still has to be within 20 feet of me at all times it seems), her vocabulary is absolutely exploding, her demands are becoming more frequent and insistent, her gross and fine motor skills continue to amaze me, and she has started to "read" her books out loud and to Kayden (she looks through them and says words that we talk about on the pages). I look at her daily and am amazed at the little person she is becoming. With all that I suppose comes insecurity on her part because she has also seemed to need us more this week. Every evening and every nap she has needed to be rocked to sleep. She was truly a baby last she let us rock her (6 months old maybe...). The first time it happened, I stayed with her a long time and thought about how quickly life passes. For so long I was ready for her to be able to go to sleep by herself and not need so much help. Holding her for that nap made me realize how quickly this time will pass - and how quietly. Even in that baby state though she was clearly a toddler - wearing pants and a hooded towel with no shirt.
How sad will I be when I pause for a moment in a few years to realize that I really don't have babies anymore? That I have said good bye to that phase of my life? I love each new development and watching them develop into their own little people but it is sad to close a chapter on your life. So, while they continue to take leaps and bounds forward, I will cherish each step back the kiddos take that allows me to hold onto their babyhood just a few moments more.
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